After 5 weeks weeks at my parents'.

I left her today after being at m parents' for almost 5 weeks. I feel uneasy and anxious, but I must return to my main home to recalibrate.

My heart breaks a little bit every day. I have accepted how this will affect me and my life and I am coming to peace with it. What I find impossible to accept is the pain I feel when I see in her eyes that she understands what is happening. It's the little things that you pick up on when you know somebody so well.

I struggle with the pain I feel thinking of my father losing his partner. March 25 marked 39 years of a love marriage for my parents. He told me that she is his best friend. That she has been the most important thing in his life. That nothing matters more than making her happy. I am lucky to have had a love like this to look up to. These are just words but I have seen over and over again these words come alive. Watching him care for her is heart wrenching and heartwarming. The compassion and love he shows is unparalleled.

I looked through thousands of photos my father took over the years. I have seen their (and my) my story unfold. I've felt every emotion. This is why I take photos. That was a turning point for me. I felt a sadness that I hadn't really broke through to before. It's like I never saw them outside of parents before. Their love existed way before I did.

The other day I was walking with her about 10 feet behind my father. She looks up and exclaims, "He is so cute.' I see the way she looks at him. She loves him so purely. There is this look of love and pain, like she knows his pain. And he doesn't show it in front of her. That is love.